5 Positive Psychology Habits and 1 Skill to Curb Screen Addiction

family connecting over shared meal

When Media Overuse is Happening, …Nobody is Thriving

My name is Peggy. In my work as a counsellor, I teach positive psychology practices … That is:
What thriving people think and do that makes their lives really rich and rewarding. It turns out that the 5 key habits, that enable people to live life well, are helpful to curb screen addiction.

Simple habits that can be learned by everyone.

In this post, I will show you how these 5 positive psych skills can remedy screen addiction.

What Does Thriving Looks Like? The 5 Key Habits of Flourishing People

5 Habits that Make Life Rich and Rewarding

According to over 15 years of research and scholarship, the elements of a juicy, flourishing life are habits like:

  • 1. Paying attention to what really matters. Feeling aligned with one’s values and purpose.
  • 2. Deeply connected relationships. Nurturing supportive, real life social networks.
  • 3. Engagement: Thriving people are full participants in life, using character strengths.
  • 4. Savoring positive emotion, such as:
    • Gratitude,
    • Humor,
    • Love (friends, family,), … Compassion toward self and others.
    • Seeing the Beauty in Nature,
    • Curiosity,
    • Happiness, among others, … and
  •  5. Achievement: Because life satisfaction includes accomplishing (big and little), goals.

My description is adapted from Martin Seligman’s work described in Flourish.
Seligman calls the framework PERMA, for positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning and accomplishment.

Life Lived Well.

We get a picture of  people living with meaning and purpose. Rich, good lives full of: well being, happiness, caring, sweetness, and juice.

Do you have enough of this juice in your life?

Sadly, scholars say if you use the internet more than 2-3 hours a day, the answer is probably, “NO”.

The Secret to Coping with Trouble: Learn One Key Skill 

Psychological Flexibility… The Skill that makes all the difference.

People who are living an optimal life also show a certain kind of emotional flexibility that rolls with life’s punches without getting tied in knots or stuck.

This important skill, called “psychological flexibility” (pardon the jargon), is taught in ACT (Acceptance and Commitment) therapy.

People who are mentally well have this skill. People who are struggling are more rigid. It appears that the less psychologically flexible you are, the more distress and emotional pain you feel. Fortunately, the skill can be learned and practiced.

Psychological flexibility is especially helpful when compulsion, craving or anxiety show up.

Here is the thing…

Compulsive use of digital media,
aka screen addiction, blocks thriving.

Create Habits that Can Beat Screen Addiction

Most positive psychology practices are magic because…

  • While some effort is needed to learn new skills, positive psych methods feel great when you practice them, and
  • the rewards build on each other… Benefits multiply over time.

When practice becomes habit, the lift lasts and enriches daily life, over and over again.

Forgive me, I gotta say it… It’s positively addicting!

To be serious for a minute,…

Positive psych habits really can be transforming.

I know.
Eighteen years ago, learning about positive psychology literally changed my life; especially the way I experience pain and disability.
(I was born with cerebral palsy.)

And Screen Addiction?

Look at the contrast…

  1. Interactive media deliver dopamine rewards too.
  2. Dopamine is the hook that keeps your eyes on the screen.
  3. Dopamine is the root of every addictive habit… Shopping, porn, food, dope…

But unlike positive psych practices,…

With internet addiction, the digital dopamine hit:

  • Builds nothing,
  • Captures attention away from what matters,
  • Steals time away from everything else,
  • Leaves nothing good that lasts, and
  • often Sucks the sweet juiciness out of life.

Practicing Positive Psych: A Remedy for Screen Addiction

What Happens when You Use the Internet Too Much?

Interactive Internet Use is a Problem when,
Your habit:
  • Pulls you into an altered mental state where you lose time. (I call it The Phone Zone),
  • Changes your brain so you crave the dopamine hit. (think FOMO and NoMoPhobia),
  • Makes you scroll and click mindlessly on autopilot.
  • Causes you to choose your device over interaction with your friends and loved ones,
  • Triggers negative emotion such as boredom, “I’m not good enough…”, being down, or amplified stress, and
  • Makes you unaware of what you care about, or the blessings happening around you.
Notice the Cost of Screen Addiction:

Please. This is important.

Kinship and friendship bonds only happen when people are present for each other. From infancy to old age, relationships are built in micro-moments of true connection.

In the online space, such depth seldom happens.

Each time you pick up your phone to zone out, you close the door to being present in your life, (or to your loved ones), for that length of time.

Distraction and Phubbing are harmful to relationships.

How are the Habits of Positive Psychology Different?

When positive psych practice is a habit in your life, you:

  • Are often present in the moment, noticing how you spend your attention,
  • Deliberately turn your attention to the people and pursuits that matter to you,
  • Act on your values on purpose… becoming truly involved in your life, and
  • Savor (ie. give sharp focus and appreciation), to the positive emotion that results.
What do you get from having positive psych habits?
  • Deeper loving relationships,
  • Purposeful activity that is satisfying, both in the moment and long term; and
  • Happiness, caring, sweetness, and juice. Well being.

SHAZAM! 

When Positive Psych Habits Meet Screen Addiction

Now… Watch what happens when you apply positive psych habits to screen addiction.

When you are aware of time you spend on your device…

You can:

  • Pull yourself out of the mindless phone zone to be fully present in your life,
  • Deliberately turn your attention to people and pursuits that matter to you,
  • Act on your values on purpose…(turn the phone off?) to get involved in your life
  • Open yourself to the richness of deep (rather than superficial), connections, and
  • Make room for gratitude, humor, love, and other positive emotion you can savor.

You might find yourself dancing outside your comfort zone, but OMG the payoff will be juicy.

Does Screen Addiction Go, … just like that?

Well, NO.

Persuasive Design Makes It Hard

Your devices have been engineered to be really fun.
Screen time feels good and it is sooo easy.
The dopamine punch that digital media delivers is powerful. The power in the timing of rewards is even stronger… so your habit will pull at you whenever a device is at hand.

You Have the Tools to Push Back

But now you know what to do when you notice the pull…
Remember the 5 key habits to curb your screen problem.

Choose to spend your attention on something you care about.
I mean, actually take a real world step.

Having the thought doesn’t count as a move.

Sometimes you’ll give in to the pull and zone out on interactive media…
It won’t matter as long as you are mindfully present and acting your values more often than you are not.

When you notice you are phone zoning, just pull yourself back to the present moment. Then choose to do something that matters.

If you aren’t sure this will work, you can approach it as an experiment and see what happens.

The Takeaway and Next Steps

The Bottom Line:

There are simple things you can do to make your life richer and more rewarding.

How will you get more of life’s sweet juice in your day to day? Do you know where to start?

What To Do to Beat Screen Addiction with Positive Psychology 

  • Learn Present Moment Awareness, or any mindfulness exercise you prefer.
    • Devices have trained everybody to be easily distracted.
    • Expect to have little focus at the start.
      • Just come back to awareness each time you catch yourself drifting.
      • It will get easier with practice.
    • When you feel antsy, recognize the feeling as a by product of your screen habit.
  • Notice where you Spend your Attention (I say spend because it is a valuable commodity.)
  • Choose. Turn your Attention away from your device toward something you care about. On Purpose.
    • Make a deliberate choice whenever you catch yourself in The Phone Zone, (mindlessly using a device.)
  • Seek deeper connections with friends and family.
    • Nothing heavy, just be present to each other together.
  • Savor positive emotion whenever it happens.
4 Steps to UnHook from Your Phone

Sign up below for suggestions that will make the whole process easier… You can make your living space support your intention.

A Cautionary Note:

If you are a person who is using screen time to avoid some difficulty in your life, you will know it very soon once you try to curb your habit.
Your life will get better if you can lean in to the problem to sort it. Avoidance works for the moment but then tends to make problems bigger.

If you have questions or need more support, please reach out: mspeg@peggyonpurpose.com

Your Next Steps:

Choose to act. Please let us know in the comments below what specific activity you will choose to do when your device is calling you… “Check me…”

It might be to: a). play with your child, b). smile at a coworker, c). spend a moment listening to birdsong, d). share a joke with a friend, e). something completely new…  Go for the Juice.

I can hardly wait to see what you choose.

About the Author

Peggy McLauchlan is a counsellor, ACT therapist, and personal development coach in Ontario, Canada. She has a special interest in positive psychology practices applied to problems with modern digital technology, like smartphone addiction and problematic internet use.

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4 ​Steps to UnHook from your Smartphone